Oct 1 - Anxiety, Trust and Crossing Over

Day 1- The launch from Peterborough into the unknown... or maybe just to the US border.

We made it to Buffalo!

The warnings had started trickling in about how difficult it is to cross the border into the US. Several people shared that they knew of friends who were asked, “have you ever smoked marijuana?” News articles (CBC and Global) suggested that answering “yes”, even if it was followed by, “a couple times in my 20s,” would certainly lead to not being let in the country and in some cases being banned from ever entering the US again.

In the first few hours of driving, the delight of finally heading out on our trip was largely overshadowed both by the anxiety of the impending border crossing and the exhaustion of the overfull days leading up to our departure.

At the end of August we moved out of the house we had been living in for the past four years in Peterborough, stored some things in the garage of my Mom’s home, some things at my dad and stepmom’s 20 minutes west of Peterborough, and some stuff at Margo’s parents, 25 minutes east of Peterborough. For the month of September we slept between those two houses and Margo’s parents cottage, 2 hours north, and spent a lot of time in the aforementioned garage. September was a month of bouncing between homes and whittling down our belongings to only those needed for a year of travel that would fit into our vehicle, and mouse proofing the rest for a year in the garage.

Simultaneously, my beloved music therapy business and clients were being shifted over to another music therapist, Danny Allen who will be taking over while I’m gone. That was my favourite part of the transition so far, because we worked together for about two weeks so he could see the routine and meet everybody and we had a delightful time doing it. He added wonderful guitar and trombone, as well insight to my usual days. I was lifted by his musicianship, enthusiasm and professionalism. Another music therapist, Nicole Landry, will be taking over work with my first and most constant client in Peterborough and we also overlapped for a couple of wonderful sessions.

Back to the trip to Buffalo - where we stayed our first night - ended up being incredibly smooth. We left later than we’d hoped, trying to avoid the Toronto rush hour, so instead took the 407 toll highway and floated effortlessly all the way to Hamilton. I was given free cookies at the gas station where we filled up, which seemed aligned with the amazing support we felt from all over to make this transition. We switched drivers 5km before the border so that Margo could be in the drivers seat. She is historically better at sticking to the script than I am. We had created a backup plan in the worse case scenario of them not letting us through. We practiced our stories in case they separated us for questioning, as we had heard them do to others. I at least imagined that they would search our vehicle, which was packed completely inside and out. Our main plan however, was to watch our minds and to let go of our negativity and fear when it arose so we could be love. And alas, a few questions taking about 2 minutes and we were through. “What is your citizenship?” “Where are you going?” “For how long?” “For business?” “What do you do for work?” “Enjoy your trip.”

Wooooo!

Our dear friend Kate and her partner Thomas (who we just met but quickly felt like a dear friend) welcomed us into their Buffalo home to a beautifully set table with wonderful food and conversation. As an example of how wonderful it was to be in their company here are a few tidbits from the conversation:

After updating us about her life, Kate asked, “Margo, what is most present for you that you would like to talk about?”

Later, a question for everyone: “what is alive in your relationship to creativity currently?”

...and so we step out into the horizon...